This will be my 25th Easter. I've gotten too many Easter baskets to count, between my parents and grandparents. I've had beautiful Easter dresses, frilly socks, and silly hats. And, I've been an Follower of Christ for 4 of those Easters. This year, however, something is different. There has been a change in my soul! I know I can't even fathom the brutality that Christ experienced on the day he was crucified, but for some reason, I feel like I get it this year. His sacrifice wasn't tithing until it hurts, volunteering time and being away from his family, or getting up early to go to church on Sunday. It was His life. People, some of us don't even like to say His name in a crowd because we're afraid who will hear it and think we're weird or that there will be a stigma attached to us. Who cares, I ask you???!? God gave his perfect son to die for the sin of all man, which are many. He sacrificed Him for our lives, before we were even born. Jesus knew what was going to happen to him and willingly went through it for us!! That blows my mind!
I look at my children. I would sacrifice my life for them in a second. (First I would try to talk whoever was taking my life out of doing it, because that's human nature.) Jesus didn't do that. He said, "Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34) If you think about your day to day life, how many times to do say, "Lord, forgive them for flipping me off on the interstate," or " Lord, bless that person that just cussed me out." It's extremely hard to love your enemies, or in this life, the person who followed too closely on your way home.
This week at my small group, we discussed what Jesus' sacrifice meant to us. I find that I have a hard time putting that into words. In previous years during Holy Week, I think more about Christ dying for me, I pray a little more, maybe. This week, I have talked about it out loud, I have spent time praying and thanking God for sending his son for my sinful, horrible self. I also read numerous scriptures last night (my nightly routine) including the crucifixion. What they did to Him was more painful than most people will ever have to experience in this life time. He did it with a pure heart, and with no second thoughts. I'm so thankful for his blood shed for me and the only way I can thank Him is by the way I live my life. I still suck at life, but I am leaps and bounds ahead of where I was 4 years ago. He has continued to bless me when I truly didn't deserve it. My prayer is that I can trust in Him more (especially when I don't get my way) and love people like He did. I have a hard time with that one.
I guess this is my explanation of what this week means to me. It's all over the place, but it's my truth. I'm so incredibly overwhelmed by how much He loves me. ME!! Thankful doesn't even begin to say how I feel.
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